how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
