i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
