Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
