I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
