I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
