Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize