apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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