I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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