Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize