come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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