well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
