WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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