NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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