We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
