Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
