Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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