bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
