I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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