wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
