i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
