I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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