i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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