well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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