Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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