I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
