i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
