Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
