ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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