Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
