they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
