I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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