i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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