Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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