so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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