There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
