she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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