oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize