I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
