I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
