I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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