I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize