if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
