There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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