5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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