Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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