I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
