ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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