sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
