You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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