her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
