her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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