We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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