My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
