READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
