you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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