Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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