i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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