all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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