My brain says no but my pants say off.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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