i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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