Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
