dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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