Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
