i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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