yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize