They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
