Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
