Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
