And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
