Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
