have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize