How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize