I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
