i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
