She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize