peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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