If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
