I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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