Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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