he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
