One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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