i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
